How We Deal with Trigger Warnings by Alexis Barad-Cutler One of the phrases I say often here, is “you are not alone.” Usually, it is in the context of helping those of us who feel isolated in our experiences know that they are part of a larger story — and connected to so many others in shared experiences. But there … Read More
The Birth Stories We Didn’t See On Instagram by Alexis Barad-Cutler When we posted on Stories about birth trauma and birth stories, it brought on a deluge of feelings — from regret, to guilt, to confusion, to anger and ambivalence. One thing that the stories all have in common: an urgency to be told, and for someone to hear them. … Read More
Connection Through Radical Vulnerability – Going Beyond (Podcast) This post was originally featured on beyondmom.com on October 9, 2019. Ready for an unfiltered conversation about the realities of motherhood with the queen of real herself? We are honored to have speaker, writer and founder of Not Safe for Mom Group (nsfmg), Alexis Barad Cutler on the podcast. Not Safe For … Read More
(nsfmg) is Proud to be An Ambassador for Empowered Birth:
As the founder of Not Safe For Mom Group (nsfmg) and the moderator of hundreds of conversations with the folks that make up this community, I know that when we talk about pregnancy and childbirth (and everything after), we often feel overwhelmed and underprepared. Even with the many educational resources available, it is hard to know which ones to focus in on and to trust. Adding to that, the cultural conversation around birth can add pressure and confusion to an already challenging time. We may only be in the early stages of thinking about starting a family, yet be faced with opinions from friends and family about what type of birth is “best”. But birth is not a choose-your-own-adventure experience. It is one in which we can at best go in with intention, and an openness to the possibility that the journey may look different than how we had imagined. There is a difference, however, in being openminded but in the dark about those possibilities; and being open but aware of the myriad of ways birth could look like (from epidural, to unmedicated, to C-section, to water birth). This is why I am thrilled that Empowered Birth — an online course curated by Schuyler Grant, and hosted by Commune — is now available.
Biological clocks are a real thing — for men as well as for women, of course. It’s just when that clock starts ticking that’s pretty individual. I don’t have a memory of a time when I didn’t adore babies; of both the animal, and human kind. Anything “baby” that needed my help, I’d be there for it. I am writing this article in my head thinking ‘don’t sound like a crazy baby lady’, but I’m finding it hard to avoid that. We live in a culture where wanting a baby conjures up these images of desperate, loony-eyed mid-thirties women, drooling over babies in the mall, before they have to go back for their post-lunch work meetings. For the record: I don’t drool over babies in the mall. I say “hi”, in a very dignified voice, and keep all saliva inside my own mouth, thankyouverymuch. I would like to have a go at whose idea it was to label women who have an active interest in fertility ‘crazy’. My wild guess? Perhaps a few men had some say in this notion. Although they are rare, you do find boys who have always wanted to be dads, and even played with dolls when they were younger. Which, for the record, I do think is a healthy pastime for the future modern involved fathers of this world.
When my daughter’s artist godfather asked what gift I wanted for her birth, I didn’t hesitate: a co-sleeper crib.
To say I had a difficult pregnancy is an understatement. After suffering a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, I found myself pregnant with twins on our second try.