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Be Your Own Hype Woman

Be Your Own Hype Woman by Alexis Barad-Cutler, Founder Everyone seems to be feeling at least a little anxious right now. My friend recent...

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The Imaginary Hotel Room Where Mom Wishes Come True

The Imaginary Hotel Room Where Mom Wishes Come True by Alexis Barad-Cutler This piece was originally published for Motherly on May 9, 201...

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Protected: Feeling Selfish While Sleep Training

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Protected: Stop Commenting on My Postpartum Body

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Protected: Sex in the Time of Coronavirus

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Revisiting Women and Work in the New Normal

Revisiting Women and Work in the New Normal (Panel for Daemen College) The Intersection of Children, Career, and COVID-19 What does the w...

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Protected: Ashamed Of Extended Breastfeeding

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Protected: My Baby Prefers My Unsupportive Partner

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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How I Became a Microdosing Mommy

How I Became a Microdosing Mommy And Why Cannabis is My Parenting Survival Tool for COVID-19 By Claudia Ossa Before you finish painting y...

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I Had Gender Disappointment: It Didn’t Last Forever

I Had Gender Disappointment: It Didn’t Last Forever A Personal Story From (nsfmg) Founder Alexis Barad-Cutler My kids ask me every once i...

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Protected: I’m Losing Sleep Over Sleep Training

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Protected: I Don’t Want to Have Sex Anymore

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Pregnancy Loss During a Pandemic:

Pregnancy Loss During a Pandemic: The compound pain of miscarriage in isolation by Elle Wang, Ph.D — founder of Emilia George Content n...

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Wishful Weaning

Wishful Weaning by Alexis Barad-Cutler This post was originally featured on Motherly (formerly Well Rounded) on October 14, 2015. I feel ...

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Break The Cycle of Postpartum Period Stigma with Easy. Period

Break The Cycle of Postpartum Period Stigma with Easy. Period and (nsfmg) See Special Offer Below Hey Mom Group, “I have a question for...

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We’re Going to Be Just Fine: Good News From The Birds Papaya

The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries: Sarah Landry by Julian Alessandroni Welcome to The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries, where no topic — while i...

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Processing Compound Stress and Trauma in a Pandemic: TOTUM Talks

Processing Compound Stress and Trauma in a Pandemic: TOTUM Talks Not Safe For Mom Group (nsfmg) is so looking forward to joining our frie...

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What Teachers Think About Reopening Schools

What Teachers Think About Reopening Schools in Fall . . . And How Parents Feel About That by Alexis Barad-Cutler So we’ve just grazed our...

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Challenging Expectations of Everyday Fatherhood

Challenging Expectations of Everyday Fatherhood The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries: Mike Reynolds by Julian Alessandroni Welcome to The (nsfm...

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Time for Non-Black Mothers to Do the Work of Antiracism

Time for Non-Black Mothers to Do the Work of Antiracism It is no longer martyrdom if we are using it to continue to uphold a violent syst...

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Not Safe For Mom Group in Bloomberg Businessweek

Not Safe For Mom Group in Bloomberg Businessweek (Bloomberg Businessweek) June 03, 2020 Excerpt Only: “The pandemic amplified an alread...

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An Unfiltered Mom Vlogger Bares All

An Unfiltered Mom Vlogger Bares All The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries: Lillian Jamfarby Julian Alessandroni Welcome to The (nsfmg) Quarantin...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group bad mom virtual meetup

How to Flip the Bad Mom Script [VIDEO]

Flip the Script on Negative Self Talk [VIDEO] Virtual Mom Meetup with Life Coach Stepha LaFond Because of Covid-19, virtually overnight, ...

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The Rebel Mamas Help Us Get Dressed

The Rebel Mamas Help Us Get Dressed The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries by Julian Alessandroni Welcome to The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries, wher...

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A Year’s Worth of Pumped Milk Nearly Lost . . .

A Year’s Worth of Pumped Milk Nearly Lost . . . but not her support from the motherhood community By Julian Jamie Alessandroni Late Monda...

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Everything You Want to Know About Pregnancy and COVID but Were Afraid to Ask [VIDEO]

Everything You Want to Know About Pregnancy and COVID but Were Afraid to Ask [VIDEO] From the glamorous perch of the blowup bed in my chi...

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Juggling Mental Health During Covid-19: Virtual Mom Meetup

Juggling Mental Health During Covid-19: Virtual Mom Meetup On May 2nd, Not Safe For Mom Group (nsfmg) had the pleasure of joining The C...

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Resources for Birth and Postpartum

Resources for Birth and Postpartum by Not Safe For Mom Group This is our list of go-to resources for everything pregnancy, birth, and pos...

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sex and love during coronavirus

Sex During A Pandemic: Virtual Mom Meetup (VIDEO)

Sex During A Pandemic: Virtual Mom Meetup (VIDEO) Not Just Another Thing “to Do” We are still flushed from our live conversation today wi...

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mom-rage

The Cycle of Rage Ends With Me

The Cycle of Rage Ends With Me By Erica Dziedzic I remember the first time I really screamed at my daughter. She was a baby, maybe 8 or 9...

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after my miscarriage

After My Miscarriage, My Brain Broke

After My Miscarriage, My Brain Broke by Noelle Hatton Going through a miscarriage was the most gut-wrenching and heart-breaking experienc...

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pelvic floor dysfunction help

Pelvic Floor Pain: Where to Find Support

Pelvic Floor Pain: Where to Find Support by Alexis Barad-Cutler When I was pregnant with my first son, I half-committed to doing regular ...

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What Do You Do With a Birth Story? (Recap + VIDEO)

what do you do with a birth story? (Recap + VIDEO) On a rainy evening on February 10th, Not Safe for Mom Group (nsfmg) gathered at The Wi...

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How to Use Our New Forum

How to Use Our New Forum: Talk to Other Moms Anonymously! By (nsfmg) It’s here! We have a new way that you can talk to other moms anonymo...

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We Need More Photos of Moms Who Bottle Feed

Celebrating All The Ways Our Community Feeds Their Babies by (nsfmg) Last week on Mom Group, after a prompt from an email via an Anony...

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photo of mother alone carrying child on her back in a museum

Sometimes I Feel Like A Single Mother

Image © Alécio de Andrade. Sometimes I Feel Like A Single Mother by (nsfmg) Parenting can be a lonely gig. It can feel especially lonel...

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women reacting to triggering content

How We Deal with Trigger Warnings

How We Deal with Trigger Warnings by Alexis Barad-Cutler One of the phrases I say often here, is “you are not alone.” Usually, it is ...

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Someone ashamed of Birthstory

Real, Raw, Unedited Birth Stories

The Birth Stories We Didn’t See On Instagram by Alexis Barad-Cutler When we posted on Stories about birth trauma and birth stories, it br...

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nsfmg blog post Want to Connect to Other Moms Going Through Divorce or Separation?

Want to Connect to Other Moms Going Through Divorce or Separation?

After we posted on the grid and on Stories about going through, or contemplating going through, or being in the process of going...

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by Chloe. – Not Safe For Mom Group: Q & A w/ Founder Alexis Barad-Cutler

by Chloe. – Not Safe For Mom Group: Q & A w/ Founder Alexis Barad-Cutler Originally Posted at by Chloe. October, 2019. You may have heard...

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radical vulnerability and motherhood

Connection Through Radical Vulnerability – Going Beyond (Podcast)

Connection Through Radical Vulnerability – Going Beyond (Podcast) This post was originally featured on beyondmom.com on October 9, 2019. ...

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nsfmg blog post 21-Day Guide to Pregnancy (& Beyond)

21-Day Guide to Pregnancy (& Beyond)

(nsfmg) is Proud to be An Ambassador for Empowered Birth: As the founder of Not Safe For Mom Group (nsfmg) and the moderator of...

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Poplar and (nsfmg): Cannabis and Motherhood (RECAP)

poplar and (nsfmg): cannabis and motherhood (RECAP) by Brianna Logan for (nsfmg) Tuesday, September 24, 20196:00 PM – 8:00 PM On Septembe...

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nsfmg blog post Pregnant Expat in an Unwelcoming City

Pregnant Expat in an Unwelcoming City

I’m trying to find the words to tell you the whole story — as I’m sitting in my bed, and I can feel my now 28-week-old daughter inside...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post When the Clock Strikes Baby (and No Partner’s in Sight)

When the Clock Strikes Baby (and No Partner’s in Sight)

Biological clocks are a real thing — for men as well as for women, of course. It's just when that clock starts ticking that's pretty...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event caring for yourself and baby when it's time to go back to work

HATCH: Caring for Yourself + Baby When It’s Time to Go Back to Work

hatch: caring for yourself + baby when it’s time to go back to work Wednesday, August 28, 20196:00 PM – 8:00 PM After Third in partnershi...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post how to sleep train in a one bedroom apartment featured image

Ask an Expert: How to Sleep Train in a One-Bedroom Apartment

Hey Mom Group — “I need some advice and was hoping to ask the group! I have a 5-month-old son who doesn’t sleep. Or rather he wakes...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post what does white feminism mean

What Does White Feminism Mean, Anyway?

What is white feminism, you ask? In her Vogue essay, “When Feminism is White Supremacy in Heels” (a must-read), activist and writer R...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post mother in law horror olympics

The Mother-In-Law Horror Stories Olympics ( Plus Father-in-Law Too)

Mom Group was very busy this week sending horrible Mother-in-Law (MIL) stories. We posted most of them on Instagram, but some came in aft...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post normalizig pregnancy sex

Normalizing Pregnancy Sex with Adult Filmmaker Erika Lust

The general cultural discomfort with women’s sexuality during pregnancy is exactly what Indie-adult filmmaker, and mother of two, Erika...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post birth trauma from a c section

Birth Trauma From A C-Section

It wasn’t so much the fact of the cesarean-section itself that was traumatic — it was everything I didn’t know about it going in, a...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post the day I gave birth was not the best day of my life

The Day I Gave Birth Was Not The “Best Day Of My Life”

Some people describe the day of their child’s birth as being one of their most cherished, happy memories. My experience? Let’s just s...

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What My Son’s Unexpected Blindness Diagnoses Has Taught Me About Myself

I don’t remember anything else from those first hours Jonas’ life, except that when I looked in his eyes I saw only grey clouds.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post When Shopping For Father’s Day Cards, I Felt Nothing

When Shopping For Father’s Day Cards, I Felt Nothing

What kind of card do you get the dad who doesn’t fit any of Hallmark’s “ideal” descriptions?

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post it could be worse

It Could Be Worse . . .

What do you say when someone rains platitudes on your trauma?

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post the witness

The Witness

I am not what you see before you. (May be triggering. Content has to do with eating disorders.)

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post Recap from The Secret Sex Lives of Moms | The Wing (PHOTOS)

Recap from The Secret Sex Lives of Moms | The Wing (PHOTOS)

Some insights and PHOTOS from our April 17 event at The Little Wing.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How To Work Through Mom Guilt

How To Work Through Mom Guilt

Instead of soaking up the good feels of the fun day I had given my kids, I was up until 2 am thinking about the ways I was coming up shor...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post My First Weeks Postpartum Were Spent in a Psych Ward

My First Weeks Postpartum Were Spent in a Psych Ward

A month after the birth of my daughter Lucy, I found myself locked in the psych ward of the hospital. I spent 10 days there.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event behind the scenes

Motherhood: Behind the Scenes (Austin, TX)

motherhood: behind the scenes (austin, tx) Saturday, April 27, 201910:00 AM – 12:00 PM CRAFT4620 East Cesar Chavez StreetAustin, TX, 7870...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event mom 2.0 summit

Mom 2.0 Summit (Speaker): Collaboration Over Competition: How to Find The People that will Help Grow Your Influence & Further Your Brand Mission

mom 2.0 summit (speaker): collaboration over competition: how to find the people that will help grow your influence & further your brand ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What We (Don't) Talk About When We Talk About the Fertility Clinic

What We (Don’t) Talk About When We Talk About the Fertility Clinic

Talking about what people don’t talk about, is probably my favorite thing to talk about.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post NSFMG and Cut + Clarity: Alexis Barad-Cutler

NSFMG and Cut + Clarity: Alexis Barad-Cutler #CCBoss

Mom-owned jewelry brand @cutandclaritynyc features women with stories behind them as ambassadors of their brand.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Ask an Expert Do I Replace My Wardrobe To Fit My New Shape

Ask an Expert: Do I Replace My Wardrobe To Fit My “New” Shape?

Not Safe For Mom Group recently received a query from a member who was struggling with a sartorial question.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event secret sex life of moms

The Secret Sex Life of Moms | The Wing

the secret sex life of moms | the wing Wednesday, April 17, 20196:30 PM – 8:00 PM The Wing Soho52 Mercer StreetNew York, NY 10013USA (map...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post An Unlikely Reconciling

An Unlikely Reconciling

Family visits are often complicated — even for the best of us, aren’t they? We all have our dysfunctions, histories, and quarrels… ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How to Go The Fuck to Sleep

How to Go The Fuck to Sleep

When a Not Safe For Mom Group member asked for advice about what to do when her partner refused to participate when their baby got up in ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Relationship Advice From Dr. Alexandra Sacks

Relationship Advice From Dr. Alexandra Sacks

Didn’t make it to Motherly’s Tips By Trimester event on March 30th? Don’t worry. Watch the NSFMG interview with Dr. Sacks here.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Ask An Expert: Should I Quit My Job After Maternity Leave?

Ask An Expert: Should I Quit My Job After Maternity Leave?

Sometimes Not Safe for Mom Group gets a question from a member where an expert opinion is in order.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Photos From March 21st Event at Inscape are Here

Photos From March 21st Event at Inscape are Here! (PHOTOS)

Photos from our March 21st event, Speaking Your Motherhood Story, at Inscape are here!

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Frenchwomen Don’t Co-Sleep

Frenchwomen Don’t Co-Sleep

When my daughter’s artist godfather asked what gift I wanted for her birth, I didn’t hesitate: a co-sleeper crib.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post GIVEAWAY: Win a Custom Portrait of Your Motherhood Moment

GIVEAWAY: Win a Custom Portrait of Your Motherhood Moment

Win a custom portrait of yourself in a “moment” of motherhood that you would like to capture and remember, by NSFMG member and artist...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event speaking your motherhood story

INSCAPE: Speaking Your Motherhood Story with Not Safe For Mom Group (NSFMG)

inscape: speaking your motherhood story with not safe for mom group (nsfmg) Thursday, March 21, 20196:30 PM – 8:00 PM Real talk: It’s h...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Excerpt from "Sabbatical"

Excerpt from “Sabbatical”

It was the pumping. Dirty diapers, sleep deprivation, the stretch marks — none of it bothered her quite like the pumping.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How Much Is OK to Drink When Breastfeeding

How Much Is OK to Drink When Breastfeeding?

The debate over alcohol and breastfeeding has been one of the most contentious of all mom related discussions.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Moms Who Don't Play it Safe Elizabeth Flynn

Moms Who Don’t Play it Safe | Elizabeth Flynn

WILD WMN is an entity that’s hard to define — because it intersects so many different areas — from art, to healing circles, to gath...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Mother: Divided

Mother: Divided

To say I had a difficult pregnancy is an understatement. After suffering a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, I found myself pregnant w...

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image of woman exhaling smoke

Parents After Bedtime

We’ve all seen the Friday night parenting memes. The couch, the wine, your partner at the opposite end of the couch, the remote, and (o...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Moms Who Don't Play it Safe Erin Spahn Erenberg

Moms Who Don’t Play it Safe | Erin Spahn Erenberg

Totum is a lactation cookie brand, and an online platform and community for mothers, combined.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What Lies Beneath the Mental Load of Motherhood

What Lies Beneath the Mental Load of Motherhood?

The photos from our January 29th event are in, and we are obsessed (per usual), by the beautiful work of our friend Renee Kahn-Bresler, w...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post When The Struggle Is Real For Him, Too

When The Struggle Is Real For Him, Too

It hasn’t been easy writing this, because I’ve wanted to be sure that I make clear how loving and wonderful my husband is, while also...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post My Body's Reprise: How Ballet Revived Me After Cancer

My Body’s Reprise: How Ballet Revived Me After Cancer

In August of 2015, my life neatly bisected itself into two parts: Before and After. I started off the summer as a normal 34-year-old moth...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Why Does It Hurt When I Have Sex

Why Does It Hurt When I Have Sex?

For many women, it comes as  no surprise that sex feels “different” after having a vaginal delivery. Often, we expect to feel “loos...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How to Get Help Right Now

How to Get Help Right Now.

Due to an overwhelming response of comments over the past few days, regarding postpartum anxiety (PPA) and other PMAD symptoms, I’m rea...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What is Postpartum Anxiety and What Resources Can I Turn To

What is Postpartum Anxiety and What Resources Can I Turn To?

We tend to have a general familiarity with the concept of Postpartum Depression (PPD), but perhaps the reason many mothers do not identif...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Alexis's Postpartum Depression Story

Alexis’s Postpartum Depression Story | Motherhood Understood

Depression, in some form, has dipped in and out of my adult life, like an old boyfriend who, every couple of years, sends you an email or...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Surviving Your Toxic Family Around the Holidays

Surviving Your Toxic Family Around the Holidays

Many of us can relate to having that one uncle whose lecherous stare is gross enough to make you want to take a shower, immediately

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Listen to My Episode on the MILK Podcast

Listen to My Episode on the MILK Podcast

Last week, I had the pleasure of being invited onto the Moms I’d Like To Know (MILK) podcast, hosted and created by Mallory Kasdan.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How Not To Lose Yourself When "The Village" Arrives

How Not To Lose Yourself When “The Village” Arrives

There is so much anecdotal and scholarly research out there about the value of a reliable support network during the early days of mother...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post She's Come Undone

She’s Come Undone

I do a pretty fucking good job of holding my shit together — at least on the outside.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Mom Group Quotes of the Week

Mom Group Quotes of the Week

We tackle a lot of big, hairy topics on NSFMG, and one of the places where we feel the most free to talk about how we really feel,

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post My Food Addiction Helps Me Survive Motherhood

My Food Addiction Helps Me Survive Motherhood

It’s evening, and I can hear the boys shouting at each other from the other room as I'm doing the dishes, and I try to focus on the lol...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post NSFMG's Inaugural Event

NSFMG’s Inaugural Event

On the night before Halloween, over 40 women gathered together at The Motherhood Center (TMC) to talk about the kinds of things many peop...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How Birth Trauma Almost Ruined My Sex Life

How Birth Trauma Almost Ruined My Sex Life:

When I went to my six week check up post-baby, they asked me all about her.  They checked her and tested her, prodded and poked her, and ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post The NSFMG Guide To Doing It

The NSFMG Guide To Doing It

The other day, I asked Mom Group: “What cuts through the Mom Thoughts so you can feel like being intimate?”

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog postMoms Who Don’t Play it Safe Jen Schwartz

Moms Who Don’t Play it Safe | Jen Schwartz

This feature will highlight mamas, sites, brands, and communities, that are working to promote a vision and version of motherhood that se...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Abortion After Motherhood

Abortion After Motherhood

I’ve always been pro-choice, but felt pretty adamantly that abortion was a “last resort” —  it was that thing you do when you hav...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Pregnancy and Body Dysmorphia

Pregnancy and Body Dysmorphia

I was absolutely terrified of becoming pregnant — not because of the enormous responsibility of carrying a life inside of me, nor was i...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post This Is What Happened When I Tried To Quit Antidepressants

This Is What Happened When I Tried To Quit Antidepressants

In a New York Times article published earlier this year, titled: “Many People Taking Antidepressants Discover They Cannot Quit” the a...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Sharing the Load

Sharing the Load

Conversation at Mom Group recently turned to the topic of parental equality in terms of who takes on the bigger portion of household and ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Faking Motherhood

Faking Motherhood

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had no idea what his birth would be like; and so, like a good girl, I did my research.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Before We Were Mamas

Before We Were Mamas

I put out a challenge to Mom Group over the weekend, to post a photo of ourselves in our “maiden phases” (i.e. before we became mothe...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post The Sensual Overburdened Mother

The Sensual, Overburdened Mother

The two themes we explored this week in Mom Group could be seen as diametric opposites: Sensuality, and, the unequal weight of responsibi...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Sometimes I Hate Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

Sometimes I Hate Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

Before I sat down to write this piece, I had just finished cleaning up my 23-month-old daughter’s behind and her poopy diaper. It was s...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How to Love A Mom Bod

How to Love A Mom Bod

If you haven't noticed, I'm figuring this all out as I go along. Every week, I see and feel NSFMG evolving and growing (in however small ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What No One Told Me About Packing School Lunch

What No One Told Me About Packing School Lunch

It’s the beginning of the year, and my husband and I are attending Parent Curriculum Night at our son’s preschool. On this special ni...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What To Text Your Mom Friends About This Weekend

What To Text Your Mom Friends About This Weekend

Here are your top Mom Group links to send you off into the weekend.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post 5 Not Safe Thoughts of The Week

5 Not Safe Thoughts of The Week

I was at dinner the other night with a wonderful group of women -- many of whom I was meeting for the first time -- many of us from diffe...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Baby Sleep Tracking Made Me Lose My Damn Mind

Baby Sleep Tracking Made Me Lose My Damn Mind

Before there were apps to track your baby’s feeding, nursing, and sleep sessions – there were good, old fashioned notebooks.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Motherhood And All The Crap You Need For It

Motherhood And All The Crap You Need For It

A little Meryl for your Monday. The Great One once said, “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essential...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post

Just Keeping Everyone Alive Over Here

When it comes to teaching my kids life lessons, I’m pretty sure I’m doing it a bit differently than the quotes on Instagram say I sho...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Rage Against The Birth Announcement Email

Rage Against The Birth Announcement Email

Oh, shit, here it comes: Another one in your inbox. A good friend has a baby, and their well-meaning partner has the nerve to send a brea...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post I Like My Home Most When My Messy Family Isn’t In It

Confession: I Like My Home Most When My Messy Family Isn’t In It

Most parents bemoan their inability to unglue themselves from their smartphones. I am pretty sure my children will remember me stalking t...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Bringing Mama's Sexy Back

Bringing Mama’s Sexy Back

In my mostly privileged, picturesque Brooklyn neighborhood, the mothers – much like the historic brownstones and tree-lined sidewalks ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Censorship in the Digital Motherhood Space

Censorship in the Digital Motherhood Space

It sucks to be silenced. I recently had a piece published by a well-known publication in the motherhood sphere. A few days later, without...

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Are you TEAM NSFMG 👏? Wear your Mom Group lette Are you TEAM NSFMG 👏? Wear your Mom Group letters with pride in your own supersoft, 100% cotton varsity sweatshirt. Discerning naked babies approve! Link in bio to order.

Photographer @anagambuto sent us so many 🔥 looks, we couldn’t choose. Also: THAT BABY. Scroll 👉. Check out Ana’s own line of loungewear at @shelterisle 🐚
On Saturday morning, my six-year-old bounded into On Saturday morning, my six-year-old bounded into our bedroom, leapt onto our bed, and declared: "Happy Martin Luther King Jr. weekend!" As if it were a holiday like Thanksgiving, or Halloween, where one puts up decorations, or has big dinners with family. I cringed. Clearly I haven't been doing my job, as his parent, in teaching him the significance of this day, of this man, and our not-so-distant history. And who knows what he's been learning in school, beyond maybe a worksheet that they got to color (I SHOULD know, and that's on me.) So what do we do with this day? How do we "celebrate?"⁠
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For me, this "day of service" feels best observed through giving. I've been talking about this a lot with my kids lately — finding ways to support and uplift Black communities and people through reparations. And yet, in all that talk and giving — my youngest still can't tell me who Dr. King is. Time to go back to the books.⁠
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My little team and I have assembled a list of Black activists, educators, and businesses to give to. The link is in our bio.⁠
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How are you observing this day of service? Do you feel like your kids have an understanding of the meaning of this day, and Dr. King's legacy?
{📷 via @thepouf } 〰️ YOU COULD USE A BATH. {📷 via @thepouf } 〰️ YOU COULD USE A BATH. I mean it! When was the last time you took a bath just to luxuriate in it (versus only to get clean)? I often find myself looking longingly at the warm, sudsy water after my son's bath, wishing I could let the kids go and do whatever so I can  hop in, and relax. I never do this.⁠
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And we have to admit: It has been a hell of a week. Make that two weeks. And 2021 has only just started. We're going to need some serious rest if we are going to make it through the next few months. So my challenge to you this weekend, Mom Group: TAKE A BATH. Take a photo of the bath you're about to step into, and tag @notsafeformomgroup and #nsfmgbath and we will share on Stories. If you want to take a G-rated pic of yourself in a bath, by all means!⁠
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Any favorite bath accompaniments? Favorite bath salts? Bath bombs? A hair mask? Or are you a bath purist?⁠
Everybody in the tub! 🛁
{photo by @maikelmauvais} 〰️ IT DOESN’T FEEL {photo by @maikelmauvais} 〰️ IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE HOME HERE 〰️ “Hey Mom Group: I’m wondering. . . does anyone else have a hard time calling where they are currently living “home”? My husband and I moved . . . almost two years ago. We love everything about [our home]: we have great neighbors, and we’ve met some nice people here.  My problem is it doesn’t feel like home to me and it never will. I’m having a hard time trying to figure out how to make this place where I live feel like home for my kids.  Does that just happen for them?! I’m trying to wrap my mind around everything I feel about my own home [growing up], and thinking — is that how my kids will feel about this place? How do I make somewhere feel like home for my kids when it doesn’t even feel like home for me?" - I.

Thought this especially would resonate with those of us who have relocated during the pandemic, whether to live with in-laws, or moving to the burbs. There are a lot of ways in which we can feel unsettled right now. What does home mean to you?
{📷 via @positivelysparkly } 〰️ Everyone is {📷 via @positivelysparkly } 〰️ Everyone is feeling at least a little anxious right now. My friend was saying yesterday that what helps her little girls fall asleep lately is telling them nice things about themselves while tucking each of them in: “You’re a  kind person. I love the way you play with your sister. You make such beautiful artwork. Being your mom makes me so happy.” And as she says these things, she can see daughter’s face soften, her body become more relaxed, letting the bed hold her, surrendering to rest, and calm.⁠
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Imagine if we all had someone saying these kinds of loving, validating things to us at the end of the day, how much good that could do for our hearts and souls. And what would we want to hear? If we could be our own hype person, what words would we want whispered into our ears as we drifted off to sleep?
🤷 How do you get your tiny dictator to finally 🤷 How do you get your tiny dictator to finally go to bed? Check out Mom Group's answers in highlights, or add your own, below.⁠
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Night, night (don't let the hotdogs bite).🌙
{📷 by @imogenfreeland } 〰️ "Hey Mom Group: {📷 by @imogenfreeland } 〰️ "Hey Mom Group: Has anyone else fallen into the trap of co-sleeping? I feel like it’s  ruining my sanity, and my relationship with my 18-month-old. His crib being in our room was fine when he was a baby . . .until he ended up in our bed, and then the pandemic scrapped our plans to move into a bigger place. I’m worried about moving him into the kids room with the 3 ⁠
and 7-year-old and ruining their sleep. But I’m tired of starting my days hating the baby 😑." -- S.⁠
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I think we can all agree that the pandemic has created all kinds of behaviors and routines we may not have entertained had life gone on as "normal". Have you been co-sleeping more than you'd planned, or co-sleeping despite your original feelings about it? Do you feel "trapped" or resentful about co-sleeping? What's the sleep sitch these days?⁠
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This convo has also been unfolding on Stories today --catch up on highlights for the anonymous conversation!
{📷 #hughholland} 〰️ “Hey Mom Group: I can {📷 #hughholland} 〰️ “Hey Mom Group: I can’t stop thinking about all the white teenaged boys I taught in 2015-16/2016-17 who tacitly, or forthrightly expressed support for, or interest in Trump. There weren’t many, but I have been thinking of each one of them, wondering where they are now ,and how they turned out, praying they were not in that mob. In the five years since then I have seen young men becoming increasingly radicalized. I used to know how to talk to, reason with, and even (I hope) plant seeds with them. One of the things that may push me out of teaching is that I no longer feel that some of these young men are within my reach. Their views are so convoluted, pervasive, and extreme, and they are so well-trained to take down any strategy aimed at even empathic or objective critical thought, and they are far more misogynistic than the ones I taught only five years ago. For the first time in my 14 years of working with young people, I’m scared things may actually get worse before they get better. — J.⁠”

Chilling words, from a teacher. Wondering if other teachers here, or moms of white boys, are feeling this hopeless way, too. Can we imagine our own children becoming the kinds of young men we saw in the angry mob at Capitol Hill? Terrorists? Radicalized bullies erecting gallows? Most likely, no. But how do we know for sure? What are we doing as mothers to set things right NOW; to fight these currents of hate and bigotry that seem so woven into the very fabric of American life?
As we continue to engage our children in conversat As we continue to engage our children in conversations about the violence at the U.S. Capitol, it’s important to elevate them towards something actionable. Even the really young ones. We can explain the basics of what happened (there were angry folks who did bad things) and we can reinforce for our children that they are safe (well, that’s a half truth). We can even point to the positives — the helpers (look! There were people who stayed, and did their jobs, and did heroic things amidst all this trauma). But an important and necessary part to include in this whole process is also enlisting our children in DOING. To show them that they are expected to be part of the solution, too.

Because the story doesn’t end when the “bad guys” go home, or with the fact that we are cozy in our beds. The moral of THIS story is not “be kind”. No. We know that it’s about the white supremacy that allowed for this to happen, and that allowed for these folks to do their ugly deeds relatively unfettered. Some of the most vile behavior we saw this week was not from some white guys in MAGA hats. It was from the institutions that we uphold, and that allow guys like that to saunter into spaces that are not theirs, and to claim them as their own with little pushback.

So what can we do with our kids? I like to start with a family Tzedakah box — a Jewish tradition of collecting money for the needy — that we all contribute to. Use whatever form (like a piggy bank) feels comfortable for your family. Find a community that could use uplifting — particularly marginalized communities, which are most harmed by white supremacy. Let your children know that that’s where their money and your money is going. If you feel safe, go to a peaceful protest with your kid. Have them help you write letters to Senators.

We can tell them the age-appropriate version of events, but we can also empower them to be people of action. Us grownups have been bystanders long enough.
{📷 via @kathyryan } 〰️ At dinner last night {📷 via @kathyryan } 〰️ At dinner last night, my nine-year-old asked; “So what do the guys who broke into the White House believe?” I said something about “a desire to uphold whiteness, hatred towards people from other countries, fear of things that they believe are too liberal..” (and then had to explain “liberal”). None of this is easy, and I don’t have “answers.” But, I did my best.

Then he paused from eating his Annie’s Mac n’ Cheese and said, “So when they come for us, do we have to pretend we believe what they believe — to stay safe?”

He was thinking of all his great grandma’s stories of hiding from Nazis and having to pretend she was not a Jew to survive the war. My heart broke, realizing the picture of the world before him coming into view was one of such horror. And he’s not that far off.

But if he is not feeling safe right now — as a cis white male in a privileged upbringing — his Black and brown classmates must be terrified. I can’t begin to imagine the conversations mothers of Black and brown children are having right now. We cannot leave out the part in this discussion — THE POINT OF IT ALL — that this is all about racism. This attempted coup was not about “a side believing something different than what we believe.” It was about racists storming into a hallowed institution, looking to cause destruction, harm, and violence. 

We have to talk about the forces that let this happen. This is not just “big bad racists”. IT’S US. As white parents, this is our job today and always. I hope we can all do our part in teaching what we can, in the ways we can, in the ways our kids can understand. We all must do our best.
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