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How to Protect Your Mental Health In A Pandemic: IG Live With Psychotherapist Nneka Symister, LCSW

How to Protect Your Mental Health In a Pandemic: Live With Psychotherapist Nneka Symister, LCSW Understatement of the year: This pandemic...

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Failure to Thrive: When the System Fails the Mother

Failure to Thrive: When the System Fails the Mother by Jo Maselli I still have a screenshot of my son’s growth chart from the day we we...

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The PMS Tea That Also Helps With Covid-Rage

The PMS Tea That Also Helps With Covid-Rage We spoke to vegan chef and blogger Charlise Rookwood about a lot of things on our recent IG L...

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(nsfmg) Supports The Black Maternal Health Momnibus Act of 2021 {Giveaway}

(nsfmg) Supports The Black Maternal Health Momnibus Act of 2021 {Giveaway} by Alexis Barad-Cutler, founder, (nsfmg) “The outcomes that ...

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Protected: What Should I Do With My Unused Embryos?

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Be Your Own Hype Woman

Be Your Own Hype Woman by Alexis Barad-Cutler, Founder Everyone seems to be feeling at least a little anxious right now. My friend recent...

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The Imaginary Hotel Room Where Mom Wishes Come True

The Imaginary Hotel Room Where Mom Wishes Come True by Alexis Barad-Cutler This piece was originally published for Motherly on May 9, 201...

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Protected: Feeling Selfish While Sleep Training

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Protected: Stop Commenting on My Postpartum Body

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Protected: Sex in the Time of Coronavirus

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Revisiting Women and Work in the New Normal

Revisiting Women and Work in the New Normal (Panel for Daemen College) The Intersection of Children, Career, and COVID-19 What does the w...

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Protected: Ashamed Of Extended Breastfeeding

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Protected: My Baby Prefers My Unsupportive Partner

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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How I Became a Microdosing Mommy

How I Became a Microdosing Mommy And Why Cannabis is My Parenting Survival Tool for COVID-19 By Claudia Ossa Before you finish painting y...

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I Had Gender Disappointment: It Didn’t Last Forever

I Had Gender Disappointment: It Didn’t Last Forever A Personal Story From (nsfmg) Founder Alexis Barad-Cutler My kids ask me every once i...

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Protected: I’m Losing Sleep Over Sleep Training

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Protected: I Don’t Want to Have Sex Anymore

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....

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Pregnancy Loss During a Pandemic:

Pregnancy Loss During a Pandemic: The compound pain of miscarriage in isolation by Elle Wang, Ph.D — founder of Emilia George Content n...

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Wishful Weaning

Wishful Weaning by Alexis Barad-Cutler This post was originally featured on Motherly (formerly Well Rounded) on October 14, 2015. I feel ...

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Break The Cycle of Postpartum Period Stigma with Easy. Period

Break The Cycle of Postpartum Period Stigma with Easy. Period and (nsfmg) See Special Offer Below Hey Mom Group, “I have a question for...

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We’re Going to Be Just Fine: Good News From The Birds Papaya

The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries: Sarah Landry by Julian Alessandroni Welcome to The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries, where no topic — while i...

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Processing Compound Stress and Trauma in a Pandemic: TOTUM Talks

Processing Compound Stress and Trauma in a Pandemic: TOTUM Talks Not Safe For Mom Group (nsfmg) is so looking forward to joining our frie...

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What Teachers Think About Reopening Schools

What Teachers Think About Reopening Schools in Fall . . . And How Parents Feel About That by Alexis Barad-Cutler So we’ve just grazed our...

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Challenging Expectations of Everyday Fatherhood

Challenging Expectations of Everyday Fatherhood The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries: Mike Reynolds by Julian Alessandroni Welcome to The (nsfm...

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Time for Non-Black Mothers to Do the Work of Antiracism

Time for Non-Black Mothers to Do the Work of Antiracism It is no longer martyrdom if we are using it to continue to uphold a violent syst...

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Not Safe For Mom Group in Bloomberg Businessweek

Not Safe For Mom Group in Bloomberg Businessweek (Bloomberg Businessweek) June 03, 2020 Excerpt Only: “The pandemic amplified an alread...

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An Unfiltered Mom Vlogger Bares All

An Unfiltered Mom Vlogger Bares All The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries: Lillian Jamfarby Julian Alessandroni Welcome to The (nsfmg) Quarantin...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group bad mom virtual meetup

How to Flip the Bad Mom Script [VIDEO]

Flip the Script on Negative Self Talk [VIDEO] Virtual Mom Meetup with Life Coach Stepha LaFond Because of Covid-19, virtually overnight, ...

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The Rebel Mamas Help Us Get Dressed

The Rebel Mamas Help Us Get Dressed The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries by Julian Alessandroni Welcome to The (nsfmg) Quarantine Queries, wher...

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A Year’s Worth of Pumped Milk Nearly Lost . . .

A Year’s Worth of Pumped Milk Nearly Lost . . . but not her support from the motherhood community By Julian Jamie Alessandroni Late Monda...

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Everything You Want to Know About Pregnancy and COVID but Were Afraid to Ask [VIDEO]

Everything You Want to Know About Pregnancy and COVID but Were Afraid to Ask [VIDEO] From the glamorous perch of the blowup bed in my chi...

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Juggling Mental Health During Covid-19: Virtual Mom Meetup

Juggling Mental Health During Covid-19: Virtual Mom Meetup On May 2nd, Not Safe For Mom Group (nsfmg) had the pleasure of joining The C...

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Resources for Birth and Postpartum

Resources for Birth and Postpartum by Not Safe For Mom Group This is our list of go-to resources for everything pregnancy, birth, and pos...

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sex and love during coronavirus

Sex During A Pandemic: Virtual Mom Meetup (VIDEO)

Sex During A Pandemic: Virtual Mom Meetup (VIDEO) Not Just Another Thing “to Do” We are still flushed from our live conversation today wi...

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mom-rage

The Cycle of Rage Ends With Me

The Cycle of Rage Ends With Me By Erica Dziedzic I remember the first time I really screamed at my daughter. She was a baby, maybe 8 or 9...

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after my miscarriage

After My Miscarriage, My Brain Broke

After My Miscarriage, My Brain Broke by Noelle Hatton Going through a miscarriage was the most gut-wrenching and heart-breaking experienc...

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pelvic floor dysfunction help

Pelvic Floor Pain: Where to Find Support

Pelvic Floor Pain: Where to Find Support by Alexis Barad-Cutler When I was pregnant with my first son, I half-committed to doing regular ...

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What Do You Do With a Birth Story? (Recap + VIDEO)

what do you do with a birth story? (Recap + VIDEO) On a rainy evening on February 10th, Not Safe for Mom Group (nsfmg) gathered at The Wi...

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How to Use Our New Forum

How to Use Our New Forum: Talk to Other Moms Anonymously! By (nsfmg) It’s here! We have a new way that you can talk to other moms anonymo...

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We Need More Photos of Moms Who Bottle Feed

Celebrating All The Ways Our Community Feeds Their Babies by (nsfmg) Last week on Mom Group, after a prompt from an email via an Anony...

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photo of mother alone carrying child on her back in a museum

Sometimes I Feel Like A Single Mother

Image © Alécio de Andrade. Sometimes I Feel Like A Single Mother by (nsfmg) Parenting can be a lonely gig. It can feel especially lonel...

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women reacting to triggering content

How We Deal with Trigger Warnings

How We Deal with Trigger Warnings by Alexis Barad-Cutler One of the phrases I say often here, is “you are not alone.” Usually, it is ...

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Someone ashamed of Birthstory

Real, Raw, Unedited Birth Stories

The Birth Stories We Didn’t See On Instagram by Alexis Barad-Cutler When we posted on Stories about birth trauma and birth stories, it br...

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nsfmg blog post Want to Connect to Other Moms Going Through Divorce or Separation?

Want to Connect to Other Moms Going Through Divorce or Separation?

After we posted on the grid and on Stories about going through, or contemplating going through, or being in the process of going...

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by Chloe. – Not Safe For Mom Group: Q & A w/ Founder Alexis Barad-Cutler

by Chloe. – Not Safe For Mom Group: Q & A w/ Founder Alexis Barad-Cutler Originally Posted at by Chloe. October, 2019. You may have heard...

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radical vulnerability and motherhood

Connection Through Radical Vulnerability – Going Beyond (Podcast)

Connection Through Radical Vulnerability – Going Beyond (Podcast) This post was originally featured on beyondmom.com on October 9, 2019. ...

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nsfmg blog post 21-Day Guide to Pregnancy (& Beyond)

21-Day Guide to Pregnancy (& Beyond)

(nsfmg) is Proud to be An Ambassador for Empowered Birth: As the founder of Not Safe For Mom Group (nsfmg) and the moderator of...

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Poplar and (nsfmg): Cannabis and Motherhood (RECAP)

poplar and (nsfmg): cannabis and motherhood (RECAP) by Brianna Logan for (nsfmg) Tuesday, September 24, 20196:00 PM – 8:00 PM On Septembe...

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nsfmg blog post Pregnant Expat in an Unwelcoming City

Pregnant Expat in an Unwelcoming City

I’m trying to find the words to tell you the whole story — as I’m sitting in my bed, and I can feel my now 28-week-old daughter inside...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post When the Clock Strikes Baby (and No Partner’s in Sight)

When the Clock Strikes Baby (and No Partner’s in Sight)

Biological clocks are a real thing — for men as well as for women, of course. It's just when that clock starts ticking that's pretty...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event caring for yourself and baby when it's time to go back to work

HATCH: Caring for Yourself + Baby When It’s Time to Go Back to Work

hatch: caring for yourself + baby when it’s time to go back to work Wednesday, August 28, 20196:00 PM – 8:00 PM After Third in partnershi...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post how to sleep train in a one bedroom apartment featured image

Ask an Expert: How to Sleep Train in a One-Bedroom Apartment

Hey Mom Group — “I need some advice and was hoping to ask the group! I have a 5-month-old son who doesn’t sleep. Or rather he wakes...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post what does white feminism mean

What Does White Feminism Mean, Anyway?

What is white feminism, you ask? In her Vogue essay, “When Feminism is White Supremacy in Heels” (a must-read), activist and writer R...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post mother in law horror olympics

The Mother-In-Law Horror Stories Olympics ( Plus Father-in-Law Too)

Mom Group was very busy this week sending horrible Mother-in-Law (MIL) stories. We posted most of them on Instagram, but some came in aft...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post normalizig pregnancy sex

Normalizing Pregnancy Sex with Adult Filmmaker Erika Lust

The general cultural discomfort with women’s sexuality during pregnancy is exactly what Indie-adult filmmaker, and mother of two, Erika...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post birth trauma from a c section

Birth Trauma From A C-Section

It wasn’t so much the fact of the cesarean-section itself that was traumatic — it was everything I didn’t know about it going in, a...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post the day I gave birth was not the best day of my life

The Day I Gave Birth Was Not The “Best Day Of My Life”

Some people describe the day of their child’s birth as being one of their most cherished, happy memories. My experience? Let’s just s...

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What My Son’s Unexpected Blindness Diagnoses Has Taught Me About Myself

I don’t remember anything else from those first hours Jonas’ life, except that when I looked in his eyes I saw only grey clouds.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post When Shopping For Father’s Day Cards, I Felt Nothing

When Shopping For Father’s Day Cards, I Felt Nothing

What kind of card do you get the dad who doesn’t fit any of Hallmark’s “ideal” descriptions?

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post it could be worse

It Could Be Worse . . .

What do you say when someone rains platitudes on your trauma?

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post the witness

The Witness

I am not what you see before you. (May be triggering. Content has to do with eating disorders.)

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image blog post Recap from The Secret Sex Lives of Moms | The Wing (PHOTOS)

Recap from The Secret Sex Lives of Moms | The Wing (PHOTOS)

Some insights and PHOTOS from our April 17 event at The Little Wing.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How To Work Through Mom Guilt

How To Work Through Mom Guilt

Instead of soaking up the good feels of the fun day I had given my kids, I was up until 2 am thinking about the ways I was coming up shor...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post My First Weeks Postpartum Were Spent in a Psych Ward

My First Weeks Postpartum Were Spent in a Psych Ward

A month after the birth of my daughter Lucy, I found myself locked in the psych ward of the hospital. I spent 10 days there.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event behind the scenes

Motherhood: Behind the Scenes (Austin, TX)

motherhood: behind the scenes (austin, tx) Saturday, April 27, 201910:00 AM – 12:00 PM CRAFT4620 East Cesar Chavez StreetAustin, TX, 7870...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event mom 2.0 summit

Mom 2.0 Summit (Speaker): Collaboration Over Competition: How to Find The People that will Help Grow Your Influence & Further Your Brand Mission

mom 2.0 summit (speaker): collaboration over competition: how to find the people that will help grow your influence & further your brand ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What We (Don't) Talk About When We Talk About the Fertility Clinic

What We (Don’t) Talk About When We Talk About the Fertility Clinic

Talking about what people don’t talk about, is probably my favorite thing to talk about.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post NSFMG and Cut + Clarity: Alexis Barad-Cutler

NSFMG and Cut + Clarity: Alexis Barad-Cutler #CCBoss

Mom-owned jewelry brand @cutandclaritynyc features women with stories behind them as ambassadors of their brand.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Ask an Expert Do I Replace My Wardrobe To Fit My New Shape

Ask an Expert: Do I Replace My Wardrobe To Fit My “New” Shape?

Not Safe For Mom Group recently received a query from a member who was struggling with a sartorial question.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event secret sex life of moms

The Secret Sex Life of Moms | The Wing

the secret sex life of moms | the wing Wednesday, April 17, 20196:30 PM – 8:00 PM The Wing Soho52 Mercer StreetNew York, NY 10013USA (map...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post An Unlikely Reconciling

An Unlikely Reconciling

Family visits are often complicated — even for the best of us, aren’t they? We all have our dysfunctions, histories, and quarrels… ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How to Go The Fuck to Sleep

How to Go The Fuck to Sleep

When a Not Safe For Mom Group member asked for advice about what to do when her partner refused to participate when their baby got up in ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Relationship Advice From Dr. Alexandra Sacks

Relationship Advice From Dr. Alexandra Sacks

Didn’t make it to Motherly’s Tips By Trimester event on March 30th? Don’t worry. Watch the NSFMG interview with Dr. Sacks here.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Ask An Expert: Should I Quit My Job After Maternity Leave?

Ask An Expert: Should I Quit My Job After Maternity Leave?

Sometimes Not Safe for Mom Group gets a question from a member where an expert opinion is in order.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Photos From March 21st Event at Inscape are Here

Photos From March 21st Event at Inscape are Here! (PHOTOS)

Photos from our March 21st event, Speaking Your Motherhood Story, at Inscape are here!

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Frenchwomen Don’t Co-Sleep

Frenchwomen Don’t Co-Sleep

When my daughter’s artist godfather asked what gift I wanted for her birth, I didn’t hesitate: a co-sleeper crib.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post GIVEAWAY: Win a Custom Portrait of Your Motherhood Moment

GIVEAWAY: Win a Custom Portrait of Your Motherhood Moment

Win a custom portrait of yourself in a “moment” of motherhood that you would like to capture and remember, by NSFMG member and artist...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group featured image event speaking your motherhood story

INSCAPE: Speaking Your Motherhood Story with Not Safe For Mom Group (NSFMG)

inscape: speaking your motherhood story with not safe for mom group (nsfmg) Thursday, March 21, 20196:30 PM – 8:00 PM Real talk: It’s h...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Excerpt from "Sabbatical"

Excerpt from “Sabbatical”

It was the pumping. Dirty diapers, sleep deprivation, the stretch marks — none of it bothered her quite like the pumping.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How Much Is OK to Drink When Breastfeeding

How Much Is OK to Drink When Breastfeeding?

The debate over alcohol and breastfeeding has been one of the most contentious of all mom related discussions.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Moms Who Don't Play it Safe Elizabeth Flynn

Moms Who Don’t Play it Safe | Elizabeth Flynn

WILD WMN is an entity that’s hard to define — because it intersects so many different areas — from art, to healing circles, to gath...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Mother: Divided

Mother: Divided

To say I had a difficult pregnancy is an understatement. After suffering a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, I found myself pregnant w...

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image of woman exhaling smoke

Parents After Bedtime

We’ve all seen the Friday night parenting memes. The couch, the wine, your partner at the opposite end of the couch, the remote, and (o...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Moms Who Don't Play it Safe Erin Spahn Erenberg

Moms Who Don’t Play it Safe | Erin Spahn Erenberg

Totum is a lactation cookie brand, and an online platform and community for mothers, combined.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What Lies Beneath the Mental Load of Motherhood

What Lies Beneath the Mental Load of Motherhood?

The photos from our January 29th event are in, and we are obsessed (per usual), by the beautiful work of our friend Renee Kahn-Bresler, w...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post When The Struggle Is Real For Him, Too

When The Struggle Is Real For Him, Too

It hasn’t been easy writing this, because I’ve wanted to be sure that I make clear how loving and wonderful my husband is, while also...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post My Body's Reprise: How Ballet Revived Me After Cancer

My Body’s Reprise: How Ballet Revived Me After Cancer

In August of 2015, my life neatly bisected itself into two parts: Before and After. I started off the summer as a normal 34-year-old moth...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Why Does It Hurt When I Have Sex

Why Does It Hurt When I Have Sex?

For many women, it comes as  no surprise that sex feels “different” after having a vaginal delivery. Often, we expect to feel “loos...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How to Get Help Right Now

How to Get Help Right Now.

Due to an overwhelming response of comments over the past few days, regarding postpartum anxiety (PPA) and other PMAD symptoms, I’m rea...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What is Postpartum Anxiety and What Resources Can I Turn To

What is Postpartum Anxiety and What Resources Can I Turn To?

We tend to have a general familiarity with the concept of Postpartum Depression (PPD), but perhaps the reason many mothers do not identif...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Alexis's Postpartum Depression Story

Alexis’s Postpartum Depression Story | Motherhood Understood

Depression, in some form, has dipped in and out of my adult life, like an old boyfriend who, every couple of years, sends you an email or...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Surviving Your Toxic Family Around the Holidays

Surviving Your Toxic Family Around the Holidays

Many of us can relate to having that one uncle whose lecherous stare is gross enough to make you want to take a shower, immediately

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Listen to My Episode on the MILK Podcast

Listen to My Episode on the MILK Podcast

Last week, I had the pleasure of being invited onto the Moms I’d Like To Know (MILK) podcast, hosted and created by Mallory Kasdan.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How Not To Lose Yourself When "The Village" Arrives

How Not To Lose Yourself When “The Village” Arrives

There is so much anecdotal and scholarly research out there about the value of a reliable support network during the early days of mother...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post She's Come Undone

She’s Come Undone

I do a pretty fucking good job of holding my shit together — at least on the outside.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Mom Group Quotes of the Week

Mom Group Quotes of the Week

We tackle a lot of big, hairy topics on NSFMG, and one of the places where we feel the most free to talk about how we really feel,

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post My Food Addiction Helps Me Survive Motherhood

My Food Addiction Helps Me Survive Motherhood

It’s evening, and I can hear the boys shouting at each other from the other room as I'm doing the dishes, and I try to focus on the lol...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post NSFMG's Inaugural Event

NSFMG’s Inaugural Event

On the night before Halloween, over 40 women gathered together at The Motherhood Center (TMC) to talk about the kinds of things many peop...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How Birth Trauma Almost Ruined My Sex Life

How Birth Trauma Almost Ruined My Sex Life:

When I went to my six week check up post-baby, they asked me all about her.  They checked her and tested her, prodded and poked her, and ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post The NSFMG Guide To Doing It

The NSFMG Guide To Doing It

The other day, I asked Mom Group: “What cuts through the Mom Thoughts so you can feel like being intimate?”

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog postMoms Who Don’t Play it Safe Jen Schwartz

Moms Who Don’t Play it Safe | Jen Schwartz

This feature will highlight mamas, sites, brands, and communities, that are working to promote a vision and version of motherhood that se...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Abortion After Motherhood

Abortion After Motherhood

I’ve always been pro-choice, but felt pretty adamantly that abortion was a “last resort” —  it was that thing you do when you hav...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Pregnancy and Body Dysmorphia

Pregnancy and Body Dysmorphia

I was absolutely terrified of becoming pregnant — not because of the enormous responsibility of carrying a life inside of me, nor was i...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post This Is What Happened When I Tried To Quit Antidepressants

This Is What Happened When I Tried To Quit Antidepressants

In a New York Times article published earlier this year, titled: “Many People Taking Antidepressants Discover They Cannot Quit” the a...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Sharing the Load

Sharing the Load

Conversation at Mom Group recently turned to the topic of parental equality in terms of who takes on the bigger portion of household and ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Faking Motherhood

Faking Motherhood

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had no idea what his birth would be like; and so, like a good girl, I did my research.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Before We Were Mamas

Before We Were Mamas

I put out a challenge to Mom Group over the weekend, to post a photo of ourselves in our “maiden phases” (i.e. before we became mothe...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post The Sensual Overburdened Mother

The Sensual, Overburdened Mother

The two themes we explored this week in Mom Group could be seen as diametric opposites: Sensuality, and, the unequal weight of responsibi...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Sometimes I Hate Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

Sometimes I Hate Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

Before I sat down to write this piece, I had just finished cleaning up my 23-month-old daughter’s behind and her poopy diaper. It was s...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post How to Love A Mom Bod

How to Love A Mom Bod

If you haven't noticed, I'm figuring this all out as I go along. Every week, I see and feel NSFMG evolving and growing (in however small ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What No One Told Me About Packing School Lunch

What No One Told Me About Packing School Lunch

It’s the beginning of the year, and my husband and I are attending Parent Curriculum Night at our son’s preschool. On this special ni...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post What To Text Your Mom Friends About This Weekend

What To Text Your Mom Friends About This Weekend

Here are your top Mom Group links to send you off into the weekend.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post 5 Not Safe Thoughts of The Week

5 Not Safe Thoughts of The Week

I was at dinner the other night with a wonderful group of women -- many of whom I was meeting for the first time -- many of us from diffe...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Baby Sleep Tracking Made Me Lose My Damn Mind

Baby Sleep Tracking Made Me Lose My Damn Mind

Before there were apps to track your baby’s feeding, nursing, and sleep sessions – there were good, old fashioned notebooks.

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Motherhood And All The Crap You Need For It

Motherhood And All The Crap You Need For It

A little Meryl for your Monday. The Great One once said, “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essential...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post

Just Keeping Everyone Alive Over Here

When it comes to teaching my kids life lessons, I’m pretty sure I’m doing it a bit differently than the quotes on Instagram say I sho...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Rage Against The Birth Announcement Email

Rage Against The Birth Announcement Email

Oh, shit, here it comes: Another one in your inbox. A good friend has a baby, and their well-meaning partner has the nerve to send a brea...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post I Like My Home Most When My Messy Family Isn’t In It

Confession: I Like My Home Most When My Messy Family Isn’t In It

Most parents bemoan their inability to unglue themselves from their smartphones. I am pretty sure my children will remember me stalking t...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Bringing Mama's Sexy Back

Bringing Mama’s Sexy Back

In my mostly privileged, picturesque Brooklyn neighborhood, the mothers – much like the historic brownstones and tree-lined sidewalks ...

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nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post Censorship in the Digital Motherhood Space

Censorship in the Digital Motherhood Space

It sucks to be silenced. I recently had a piece published by a well-known publication in the motherhood sphere. A few days later, without...

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@notsafeformomgroup
{📸 @birthingjustice } 〰️ One of the most di {📸 @birthingjustice } 〰️ One of the most disconcerting aspects about the state of Black maternal health in this country is the way in which Black women have been continuously systemically excluded from the very spaces they built. Up until the 19th century, nearly all births were attended by Black, indigenous, and immigrant women. Drawing on traditional practices passed down through generations, and a history of healing and supporting women at all stages of life, these were the folks on whom all mothers relied to help usher in new life.

Black midwives did so much more than help women birth. They were spiritual healers, lactation consultants, postpartum doulas, and family counselors. They attended the births of enslaved Black women and also, white women who were birthing their future oppressors. These midwives’ names are not mentioned in the history of obstetrics but rather have been disempowered and ignored as birth became medicalized and commodified in the 20th century. Midwives like Buddy Mason and Margaret Charles Smith attended over 3,500 births each. These Granny midwives passed down their knowledge in ways that saved women from harrowing consequences. It is indisputable that when white men took over the birthing space and campaigned to demonize midwives — claiming they were responsible for rising rates of infant and maternal mortality rates — that birth became more dangerous. When we talk about Black maternal health, it is irresponsible and violent to not acknowledge the legacy of birth work that has been passed down by Black women. And that the same system that is killing Black women and babies is one that very intentionally took the power of midwifery out of Black women’s hands.

How many of us wouldn’t be here were it not for Black midwives who worked to bring babies into this world? Did you know this about the history of birthing in America? This should be in our text books.
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#notsafeformomgroup #nsfmg #blackmaternalhealthweek #blackmidwives #blackbirthworkers #blackbirthmatters #blackjoy #momsofinstagram #momssupportingmoms #maternalhealth #doulasupport #doulasofinstagram #birthsupport
{📸 @simplicite_ici } 〰️ Hey Mom Group: Toda {📸 @simplicite_ici } 〰️ Hey Mom Group: Today marks the first day of Black Maternal Health Week. We are encouraging the (nsfmg) community to spread awareness about the state of Black maternal health in this country, and to give to the spaces and organizations that are continually and urgently committed to this work. A number of Black-owned platforms have already created thorough resource lists and we will be re-sharing them here throughout the week. Please re-share the slides you see on our stories that list some devastating facts about the current state of Black maternal healthcare in our country to educate those who may not know about these dire statistics. Please read up on the resources lists that Black women leaders have already created and GIVE to the places listed there. Give to the platforms, communities, and folks creating these resources so that this important work continues. Check back on stories every day this week where we will be re-sharing great places to give as recommended by Black businesses and platforms.
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#notsafeformomgroup #nsfmg #blackmaternalhealthweek #blackmaternalhealthweek2021 #blackmamasmatter #blackmaternalmortality #blackmomsmatter #momssupportingmoms #womensupportingwomen #momcommunity #momgroup
Holy expletive. Today was WILD. My friend, psychot Holy expletive. Today was WILD. My friend, psychotherapist @nneka_symister dropped so many bombs of wisdom we exploded into a million pieces. Here’s the thing about Nneka: her world view is super clear and accessible but the way she says things sounds like it is coming from up above. We talked about how to shift the same kind of shitty communication we’ve been having with partners to something better, how to ask for help AND GET IT, how to adjust our expectations of ourselves, how to re-enter the world post-pandemic, and a new way of looking at boundaries. Oh, did I tell you also we are new best friends? 😊

New Yorkers, if you have the capacity and ability, I highly recommend reaching out to Nneka if you’re searching for a new therapist. Like...wow.

Watch the live!!! And if you don’t have time for that, we’ve summed it up for you in a tidy blog post up on our website - notsafeformomgroup.com .
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#notsafeformomgroup #nsfmg #heymomgroup #anxiety #pmads #postpartum #therapy #mentalhealth #motherhoodcommunity #momgroup
TOMORROW at 2:30pm ! We cannot wait to bring you t TOMORROW at 2:30pm ! We cannot wait to bring you this special guest expert — psychotherapist @nneka_symister , who specializes in anxiety, trauma, PMADS, and couples therapy — to our IG live tomorrow. Coping with anxiety and mental health concerns in any ordinary time is hard enough — but in a pandemic, when so many of our resources are not accessible, how can we better access the help we need?⁠
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Nneka and I have been Instagram friends for a while, but it wasn’t until recently that I got to truly experience her refreshing take on what so many of us have been going through, especially around the self-judgment a lot of moms are feeling right now. Her insights on mom guilt, feeling like “enough”, on “the village”, and on problems with partners and spouses took my breath away and had me writing down every word. She'll be addressing your questions live, and the questions you’ve submitted on our stories. Come!⁠
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#notsafeformomgroup #nsfmg #nsfmglive #anxiety #pmads #newmom #postpartum #postpartumanxiety #thevillage #mentalhealth #selfcare #pmads
Yesterday, we were honored to publish a piece by o Yesterday, we were honored to publish a piece by one of our Talking Circles “graduates” — about the pressures to mother in “certain” ways, and the implications this can have on a mother’s mental health. In her piece, Jo describes the immense pressure she faced as she attempted to move through her own experiences as a human with needs that existed outside those of her newborn:

“My mental and physical health had been completely and totally destroyed by my interpretation of “breast is best,” and my belief that I had to do anything in my power, at whatever cost, to ensure a “successful” breastfeeding relationship. I truly believed that if I made any more “mistakes” (according to the La Leche League books I had dutifully studied, this included the induction, cesarean, and small amounts of formula I had allowed in hospital), it would be my fault for failing at exclusive breastfeeding, at bonding with my baby, and at motherhood in general.”

Strong external messaging of what mothers “should” be doing and how they should do it (ex: the natural parenting movement) can often do more harm than good. They contribute to mothers feeling like failures rather than empowering us to do what’s best for ourselves and our children. As new (and second and third and fourth time) mothers, we are inundated by so much information about how to “mother” but so little about how to survive and thrive in our own matrescence. So many of the conversations we have here at Mom Group echo the sentiment that we feel we’ve somehow failed at birth, or at feeding, and/or mothering because of something we’ve heard or read enough times to believe that that way was the only way. The world has failed mothers — we are not the failures. Our hope is that in amplifying your stories, we can shed light on the gaps and failures in how mothers are supported in this country (and the world), and move toward a new paradigm that not only allows but encourages us to be the architects of our own experience.

Head over to the blog to read this personal and universal piece about early motherhood by @dra.ma_ma.ma . Did you receive the support YOU needed or did you feel like everyone “should” all over you?
{📷 via @city_scum } 〰️ The Rachel Hollis de {📷 via @city_scum } 〰️ The Rachel Hollis debacle has IG reeling, but we’re finding ourselves grappling with a bigger conversation. White women, ourselves included, are failing to receive feedback in a way that moves the dial forward. Progress is stunted when the reaction is defensiveness and denial — or at its worst, gaslighting. In a time when our every thought is memorialized in a post, it only seems right that we should sit with and learn from the feedback and criticism that comes with our public statements.⁠
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In some ways, it feels like white feminism has created an environment of toxic positivity, where if we hold each other accountable we are violating “The Sisterhood.” Ideas around #womensupportingwomen and Girl Power seem to imply that we can’t also push one another to think and reflect on our missteps and shortcomings without it feeling like a takedown. Last night, in our weekly @clubhouse , we were called in — and it felt uncomfortable — but it also was necessary, and we can’t imagine having had that conversation without it. It was a real-time moment of learning, receiving, and exercising humility — something that isn’t easy to do but is so vital for progress and change. ⁠
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At the end of the day, what is our objective when we call someone in for something problematic they’ve said or done? Sure, posting about it to Instagram feels like we’re doing something, but if the Rachel Hollises of the world aren’t open to receiving and growing then we’re just screaming into the void. By banding together against the patriarchy, have we created a culture of white women who pathologically can’t accept criticism? To lift one another up doesn’t mean we don’t also need to have the difficult and uncomfortable conversations. In fact, to fail to do is to fail one another. How do we stop being defensive when our lived experience as women has conditioned us to put up so many walls?⁠
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#motherhooodispolitical #notsafeformomgroup #nsfmg #whiteallyship #whitefeminism #whitesupremacy #clubhouse #momssupportingmoms #allboatsrise #trialanderror #nocookies #antiracism #dismantlethepatriarchy #accountability
{📷 @dalijahamelia via @heymama} 〰️ What was {📷 @dalijahamelia via @heymama} 〰️ What was your first postpartum meal? What “forbidden” foods/drinks couldn’t you wait to have? (Everyone has a different idea of what is “not allowed” during pregnancy. This one is just for fun, not debate 🙃!) We’re sharing (and getting hungry for dinner) on Stories. Head there now to add yours, or comment below! 🌮🍔🍕🍷
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#notsafeformomgroup #nsfmg #heymomgroup #postpartum #cravings #pregnancycravings #thirdtrimester #fourthtrimester #newmom #ohheymama #momcommunity #momgroup
Hey Mom Group, it’s @natalie_ehrlich, one of the Hey Mom Group, it’s @natalie_ehrlich, one of the moms/editors here at (nsfmg). Today’s post is a personal one, in recognition of #AutismAcceptanceWeek. I originally found (nsfmg) after a period of feeling extremely isolated as a new mother. This is the first time I’m sharing our diagnosis of the little known PDA profile of autism on the Internet. I didn’t know that my daughter was autistic in early motherhood, but it had always seemed clear to me that we didn’t have a home in the other mom/parenting spaces on or offline. I felt defeated when people talked about “good babies” and milestones. The parenting “expert” accounts made me feel inadequate and ashamed. This mom group was a soft place to land. A place where folks used appropriate language that also described my own lived experience. A place where I didn’t feel excluded or “other than” in my “atypical” parenting experience. I can only speak to my own experience but mainly I want to share that it is a spectrum. My favorite quote is, “if you’ve met one autistic person, then you’ve met one autistic person.” Autism is not a sickness or a disease. There are parts of it that are incredibly challenging and aspects that are so beautiful. A differently wired brain is not shameful and I hope I can raise my daughter to love her unique mind. Our children deserve to feel included in all spaces and to not only be welcomed, but deeply loved for who they are. It’s not easy to show up to play groups, schools, sports, and other kid spaces with a differently wired brain. Our kids deserve to have these experiences in ways that are accessible and to feel like this world is for them, too. There’s so much “parenting content” we consume every day and it feels like none of it is thoughtfully directed or even conscious of our parenting experiences. In short, please don’t make us feel like the exception in parenting and in life. Our children may be exceptional, but we all just want to feel included. If you don’t know how to do this, ask us. If you aren’t sure what language to use look it up. Parenting autistic children is unique but at the end of the day, we all need a soft place to land and to be amongst others that feel like home.
{📷 via @jeffcheung1 } 〰️ Every day it seems {📷 via @jeffcheung1 } 〰️ Every day it seems someone is trying to take away rights from the trans community. A new wave of legislation has arrived this year in the form of bills banning trans women from women’s sports in some states and Arkansas becoming the first state to pass a bill prohibiting doctors from providing gender-affirming medical care to trans children. Similar bills are being considered in 19 other states. In 2020, @wearehrc recorded the largest number of transgender and gender non-conforming people violently killed since 2013. In light of this terrifying statistic, and these discriminatory acts of legislation, it is important that we both celebrate the lives and contributions of trans folks, and also be aware of, and help fight the discrimination and violence the trans community faces every day.

We stand today — on this International Transgender Day of Visibility — and everyday, with our transgender, gender-nonconforming, and LGBTQ community. Not Safe For Mom Group (nsfmg) is a community for anyone who identifies as being somewhere along the spectrum of the journey of motherhood — whatever that means to you. All women (and trans women are women, period), and gender non-conforming folks who identify as mothers, or who love and support mothers, or who are mom-curious are welcome here. This space is for you.
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#notsafeformomgroup #nsfmg #heymomgroup #transgender #internationaltransgenderdayofvisibility #inclusion #protecttranskids #protecttranslives #transmoms #nonbinary #gendernonbinary #lgbtqrights
{📷 via @prix_virginia} 〰️ UNMET EXPECTATION {📷 via @prix_virginia} 〰️ UNMET EXPECTATIONS 〰️ "Hey Mom Group: I’m reaching out because I know this is a safe space. My daughter turns one tomorrow, and so today I’m allowing myself to feel all of MY feelings and focus on myself because tomorrow will be about her. 

I have officially lived one year in constant stress. A pandemic, a small circle with little support, working full time, trying to mom so hard. 

I’m tired and I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed I couldn’t quit my job to stay home when it all became too much trying to balance work/mom life.  I’m disappointed my husband never stepped up (he currently stays home with our daughter) and fought to find a way to support us. I’m disappointed he has no drive, especially because I’m a very driven person. I’m disappointed I feel ambiguous toward him because a small piece of my doesn’t trust him to take care of us. I’m unattracted to him because his lack of ambition and willingness to let me hurt so the bills get paid. I’m disappointed I’m not the mom I wanted to be be because I’m constantly tired and stressed and anxious. 

I’ve been fighting PPA and I’m disappointed I haven’t conquered it yet. I’m disappointed I was so miserable when my daughter was 5-9 months that I feel like I missed out on being fully present and “enjoying every moment”. 

I’m disappointed my life is nothing like I want it to be and there’s no change in  sight and I feel this huge pressure to be some type of mom that’s unrealistic in my given mental state.”

We all need space to grieve our unmet expectations — about our careers, friendships, relationships, and motherhood. We welcome you to share and grieve yours here. More anonymous conversation to come in stories. 

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#notsafeformomgroup #nsfmg  #heymomgroup #momgroup #momcommunity #talkingcircles #postpartumempath #postpartum #fourthtrimester #fifthtrimester #newmom #overwhelm #supermom #maternalmentalhealth #pmads #momssupportingmoms #workingmoms #motherhoodunfiltered #rawmotherhood
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