5 Not Safe Thoughts of The Week

nsfmg not safe for mom group blog post 5 Not Safe Thoughts of The Week

I was at dinner the other night with a wonderful group of women — many of whom I was meeting for the first time — many of us from different stages of motherhood, different ages, and different parts of the world. Our main connections were the birthday girl we were celebrating, and the fact that we were (with the exception of one) all mothers. Something just clicked between the 7 of us, and before we knew it, we were telling each other all kinds of intimate things about our lives, our kids, and our relationships with our partners. We each admitted it had been a while since we’d had this kind of night — a group dinner (but not too big a group) with peers, some shared pizzas, and conversations that zipped from one end of the table to the other without any interruption of flow. We were in a safe space. We all felt open and accepted. It was a great feeling. It felt like what I want this community to be. I want to feel that around me more often.

So it made me think about trying something here, and seeing what you guys think. I threw a bunch of questions at you — my readers — over on the IG account for @notsafeformomgroup this week about what you would want to talk about if you were in a SAFE SPACE with like-minded women. I asked you what you would want to ask a sex expert, a career expert, and a mental health expert, if you knew you wouldn’t be judged for your questions. The responses were amazing! So even though I posted them on the IG Stories, I wanted a place for them to live, so that everyone can see that these questions and worries and thoughts are swirling around in many of our minds. You are not alone. Perhaps in reading them, you’ll recognize some as the things you would have asked, too, if you had had the courage or chance.

“Is it hindering to one’s career/growth if, as a mother, I make it clear I cannot/will not work outside certain hours due to the fact that I have a child (and therefore, certain responsibilities I can’t escape)?”

— Nissy, 29 years old. Mom of 8-year-old son.

“How does one manage one’s emerging/shifting sexuality and their sexual lifestyle when they have kids? (Especially as a single mom).”

“How do you deal with colleagues (especially managers) who just don’t fucking get it . . .”

“Am I normally fucked, or is this the new normal? Why am I so anxious all the time?””

— Elizabeth, mom of 3.

“Do you regret having a second, or third, (or fourth), child?”

I invite you to ponder this sampling of questions, and, maybe comment below with thoughts or responses of your own. You don’t have to be an expert to have insight. Sometimes it is not the answers that matter so much, but rather, the support and sense of someone out there listening.

P.S. There WILL be an actual safe space where we will be having these conversations, in real life, in person, to be announced very soon. I’m so excited! 

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